


All The Darkness In The World

by RecoveringTheSatellites



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captain Swan Halloweek 2019 (Once Upon a Time), Captain Swan Role Reversal 2019, Captain Swan Role Reversal Halloweek 2019 (Once Upon a Time), Don’t copy to another site, F/M, Spells & Enchantments, Witchcraft, a lost soul and a happy end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-11-27 20:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20954474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecoveringTheSatellites/pseuds/RecoveringTheSatellites
Summary: Love is the greatest weapon of all.





	All The Darkness In The World

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the @csrolereversal, and by pure luck it fits the @cshalloweek theme for today as well!
> 
> I was paired with the absolutely incomparable and brilliant @darkcolinodonorgasm (@liliumweiss on AO3). Sweetie - you are an absolute gem of a human being and i am so so so happy i got to know you! 
> 
> She organzied the whole event and made amazing and incredible art.  
Please look her up on tumblr and give her ALL THE LOVE.

  
  


  
  


_ All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light from a single candle. _

\- ... this was  _ not _ said by St. Francis of Assissi. But it’s still true. - 

  
  


Some spells can rip your life wide open.

Some can ricochet back as you cast them, do more damage to you than the intended victim.

All of them can do worse, so much worse, than simply end a heartbeat.

But this should not have been one of them.

This should not have erupted as it did in a flood of power and darkness, should not have twisted away from his grasp and roared out of control, should not have torn at the fabric of time and space itself and then pulled him into the in-between.

But it did.

It did.

And now he is lost, lost in this space between things real and imagined.

Trapped in the Nether.

With no way out.

  
  


Time has no meaning here.

It runs through his scarred fingers, racing along and yet endlessly stretching, and there is nothing to hold on to but madness and anger. There is nothing to do in this grey without time, without purpose - in this space without meaning, in this pocket of empty.

It may have been centuries ago that he was trapped here.

It may have been hours.

There is no way to know.

The anger and the madness are slowly fading. He feels himself fading right along with them.

  
  


And then -- light.

Light inside the endless grey, light that is warm and strong and  _ golden _ . It has a color.

And not just a color.

A heartbeat. A breath. A  _ soul _ .

It solidifies in front of him, becomes the shape of a woman. He would cry in relief if he could still remember how.

  
  
  


“There you are,” she says, as if she knows him. “I’ve been looking for you for so long.”

And she takes his scarred, ruined hands.

  
  
  
  


He is not the person he remembers.

When he wakes up next to her in the middle of the night, shaking and filled with both rage and fear, he is different. When he walks down the street and people turn to avoid him, he is different. When he hears the whispers around him, words like  _ darkness _ and  _ sealed fate _ , he is different.

She is not.

She cups his cheek when he gets lost in his fury, and he finds himself again in the calm of her eyes. She makes them recede, the madness and the anger that have both come back to plague him now that he walks in space and time again. She says his name like it means something to her.

It means nothing to him.

But in a corner of his heart of darkness, a corner he protects with everything he has, he loves that she says his name like that. Or he would, if he still knew how to love.

  
  


Sometimes the rage comes on like a tidal wave and swallows him whole. Darkness explodes outwards, seeps from every pore, and he finds himself walking the streets in the footsteps of evil, threatening innocence and kindness alike, wayward spells shooting from his ravaged hands and doing damage, real damage.

Damage she has to fix.

And she does.

She finds him every time, no matter how lost he gets, finds that corner of his heart where he is still human, and brings him back. Kisses him gently and tells him she loves him, and he wishes he could say it back.

Wishes he could feel it back.

He doesn’t remember her, not really.

But he misses her, somehow. Misses feeling her.

Misses feeling.

  
  


And then one day, when he wakes up again shaking and not himself, he finds her sitting next to him, awake. Her eyes are clear and full of love and she stills his trembling hands and tells him she may have found a way to help him.

Will he do it, even though it is dangerous?   
Does he trust her enough?

And even through the rage and the fury and the darkness howling, he nods. She is the only thing good and solid and real, and he would go to the end of the world for her.

Or time.

  
  


She takes his hand and leads him to a graveyard. They walk for a long time, and then they stop at a headstone.

It says KILLIAN JONES.

That’s the name she keeps calling  _ him _ .

She smiles her beautiful smile, the smile that makes everything,  _ everything _ better, and with a wave of her hand she lights the candles which have appeared all around them.

And then she looks at him.

“My love,” she says. The words spread warmth inside him. “Don’t be afraid. No matter what happens.”

She leans her forehead against his and wraps her arms around him and he whispers back, “I trust you.”

For a brief moment there is water in her eyes.

  
She looks up at him.

And says, “I love you.”

  
  


Darkness and fury and rage begin to howl.

They tear at him, with might, with  _ power _ , nearly rip him from her grasp, and scream

and  _ scream _

until his ears bleed, until his mind folds, until his eyes lose all sight

until he can no longer think

or feel

or be --  _ or be _

until he is ripped apart at the seams of his very existence, and all that is left

all that is left

everything he is 

is that corner of his heart

where she lives.

This one thing, this one, small thing that means something to him, that means everything to him---

this he will not give up.

Not inside the shreds of his ruined existence, not inside the screaming and howling and darkness and fury, not for anything, anything

anything 

at 

all

  
  
  


Light bursts all around him, warm and golden and-----

  
  


They’re lying on grass, in a wide open space, in the dark of night. Above them he can see the full moon.

Next to him Emma is breathing softly, her arms wrapped around him. He sits up slowly, gently pulls her along with him.

She opens her eyes, large, and full of question.

“Emma?” He says. “What happened?”

Tears start to spill down her cheeks, and then she leans forward, her arms tight, her shoulders rigid, and she sobs, she  _ sobs _ \--- 

And then she looks up. Her eyes are relieved and full of love and so, so angry. 

“Killian Jones,” she says, and her voice is pure steel. “If you ever,  _ ever _ , attempt a dangerous spell without me again,  _ ever _ \---” Her voice cuts out. Her breath catches. He rubs her back, because it always makes her feel better.

His other hand comes up to wipe the tears from her cheeks and then he sees them: Scars.

Everywhere.

His hands are covered in scars.

His own breath catches.

Her hand comes up to hold his. “The spell didn’t just nearly kill you,” she whispers. “It trapped you in the Nether and ripped your soul from your body, and you---- and you---” She takes a deep breath. “I’m not losing you. Not again. Not ever. Do you hear me?”

All he can do is nod.

She leans forward to kiss him.

Her lips are soft and warm and so very familiar.

“I love you,” he says. Feels the truth of it,  _ feels it _ .

She wraps herself around him again, uses her whole body.

And leans her forehead against his. “I know.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for letting me be part of this, and also thanks to @profdanglais for wrangling me into shape.


End file.
